Amazing Race 16 Secret Scenes, Episode 9:  “A Fair, Fun Final Four…”

You don’t really think Carol & Brandy (pictured) said that, right?  Well, if you weren’t fans of our disgruntled duo there, you probably won’t be after the many extra scenes showing how angry they got.  Surprisingly, we get a little bit more of an explanation from Caite on her rationale and it wasn’t all about “mean lesbians!”  And at Elimination Station, the gang gets all the scoop from a still-angry Brandy and decide to take in some Mexican wrestling.  Never a dull moment in the Secret Scenes, so read on for more!

At the Pit Stop

Last Woman Standing:  Phil mentions that Carol & Brandy have a very strong desire to be the first all-female team to win the Amazing Race, which Brent & Caite agree with.  Caite grins and says that they may have just ruined those dreams for them.  She tells Phil that if Carol & Brandy had been nicer to them along the race, they might have U-Turned someone else.  Brent also mentions that Carol & Brandy were even rude on the train to Singapore, so at that point it was just a definite they were getting U-Turned.  Brent explains that on the train, Carol & Brandy were trying to get by the others when the train was stopping.  It’s a race, so why would they let them go by to get ahead?  Phil observes that Carol & Brandy chose the wrong team to pick on today.

Since they’re still here nine legs into the race, Phil notes it looks like they’re lining up to get in the final three.  Caite admits it’s just an honor to be in the final four, while Brent says they’re just slowly but surely achieving the little goals they’ve set for themselves, including Caite being the last woman standing and getting into the final four.   Phil asks how winning a million dollars will affect their lives.  Caite isn’t sure exactly how it would change, but it would certainly be for the better.  Brent thinks that since they’re so young, it would just be a massive help to their future.  Caite brags that they both have a good head on their shoulders and they’ll be very wise with the money.  Phil wonders about their future together and Caite jokingly wonders too and points at her ring finger.  Brent admits he likes her more now than at the beginning of the race and he’ll just have to see what the future holds.

Detectives Stick Around:  Phil asks Louie & Michael what it feels like to still be in the race.  Louie remembers that he promised Phil at the beginning that they would be in the final three and he promises they’ll be racing to the final leg to the United States.  Michael is proud of their performance this leg even if there were a few communication glitches.  Louie thanks Phil but Phil rightly points out that they’re the ones working hard to be in the race.  Yet Phil still demands that Louie promise him again that they’ll be one of the three teams racing to the finish, which Louie happily and boisterously does.  Michael also promises, even if it’s one or the other dragging the other across.  It’s going to happen.

Phil congratulates them on the leg but reminds them not to cut it so close.  Louie & Michael admit that this leg reminds them of leg three as it came down even then to bad cab drivers and some poor decisions.  But Louie remembers that the next leg they came in first, and he flashes a huge grin.  Michael tells Phil that they had instructed Caite & Brent to U-Turn Carol & Brandy and everything went perfectly.  Unless of course it’s the cowboys behind them but they hope that’s not the case.  Michael tells Phil that it was Carol & Brandy’s travel experience that really made them targets and he wanted an even playing field when the race eventually returned back to the States.

Jet & Cord’s Stand-Up Comedy:  Jet jokes with Phil that the only musical instrument they play is the radio.  This cracks Phil up… a lot.  He actually has to turn around and compose himself a bit before resuming.  Phil tells them that he’ll get used to them shooting off one-liners at the Pit Stop eventually, but his favorite saying from them is still “smelling what you’re stepping in.”  Phil is happy they’re still in the race after nine legs and he knows everyone enjoys racing with them, but also tells them he’s sure the other teams would be glad to see them gone too.  Jet tells Phil that he has seen previous seasons and it always seemed those teams were always at each other.  He admits that during the race it gets like that but when things slow down, everyone is down to earth.

Phil likes that they always seem to have a good time while racing.  Cord explains that they’ve been thankful for every leg since the very first one, especially since in that leg they were pretty much at the back of the pack.  Phil asks if they can win the race, and both Jet & Cord think it’s possible.  It is Cord’s plan, and while each leg is purely survival, that last leg truly is the one about who races the best.  But you have to make it to that last leg first.  Will it happen?  Jet thinks so, as long as there aren’t any more drums to play!

The Gloves Come Off:  Brandy tells Phil that she had been generous to everyone including Caite & Brent but now that is over.  Caite made a move that was controversial and will generate infamy, but it was the stupidest move on her part and will cost her a million dollars.  It was a stupid strategic move.  At this point you can see that Carol is trying to be more rational about it as she answers Phil that only time will tell if that move will prove costly.  Brandy interrupts and says she’ll be shocked if it works out well.  If stupid wins this race she’ll be shocked because while stupid did them in, it wasn’t their own stupidity as they made up tons of time and even saw the cowboys and cops leaving the Roadblock.  Brandy speculates that Caite’s motivation may have been jealousy as she wanted to be the only girl on the race.  Brandy also knows that Caite knew she was a model and could have wanted other models out of it.

Phil tells them that one comment Caite made concerning Carol & Brandy was that they were indeed a threat.  Brandy launches into why Caite is running the team and if Brent is emasculated.  Carol tries to move to what else Caite had to say and Phil tells her that Caite did indeed mention she wanted to be the only girl left on the race.  This sets Brandy off some more as she knew that was the case and had called it many legs ago.  She knows that Caite & Brent are in this more for the tacky infamy and not the million dollars.  She is sure that Caite just wants to continue her infamy streak which of course began with her YouTube-sensation beauty queen speech.  Regardless Brandy is positive that Brent & Caite will be gone next as the move they made was hollow.

Phil goes back to Brandy’s assertion that Brent is not much of a player.  She admits that Brent is a physical player.  Carol mentions that if they were perceived as an intellectual threat, she understands.  Phil clarifies that Caite had called them super smart, which they agree with.  Carol decides not to joke about any IQ as she got into so much trouble over her tiara joke.  She just wants to be proud of her racing accomplishments and in today’s leg, with the extra challenge they had to do, she knows they did very well.  Phil asks Brandy if she is disappointed in Caite as a woman.  Brandy agrees and that she can’t believe Caite played the dumb card, the beauty card, and the fake fame card.  She is sure that Caite has some viral-worthy outtakes from the race and Carol would be stunned if that wasn’t the case.  She worries for Caite’s ability to put a sentence together and also if she can read a script that someone might put in front of her too.  Ouch.  Tell us how you really feel, Brandy!

Dan & Jordan’s Master Plan:  Phil commends Dan & Jordan on their bold move.  What triggered it?  Dan explains that they wanted to play under the radar and avoid too much drama.  They especially wanted to avoid any U-Turn drama, so once they were all out of the way and the Fast Forward showed up, it was time to make a move.  Jordan tells Phil that even though they met Phil’s Amazing Race Asia competition, Alan Wu, he doesn’t hold a candle to Phil.  They also had a good cab driver and when the Fast Forward presented itself, they knew it was time. Jordan is mostly psyched to finally hear that they’re team number one.  So now with it almost being over and close to being in the final three, Phil wonders if they’re worried about massive placement shifts.  They both recognize it can happen, as they just came from last to first place here in this leg.  Dan is really happy especially because of how happy Jordan is for finally coming in first.  Overall, they are exactly where they want to be.

Extra Race Footage

Brand New Neighbors:    While on the Singapore train, Brent tells us that they have about 12 hours to spend on the train but they’ve got the sweet sleeper bunks.  Caite & Brent have one side of the aisle and Dan & Jordan are across the aisle from them.  Apparently Louie & Michael are just a few bunks away too, just in case anything goes down.  Everyone is on the same train and Brent mentions that everyone is getting along great.  Even with Carol & Brandy?

Dan asks Jordan for “the spray” which turns out to be a mini-bottle of Fabreze.  Jordan is adamant that Dan not use too much and shows us that you’re allowed a quick spray on each leg.  Dan promises that Jordan can monitor his usage.  Dan uses it sparingly under Jordan’s watchful eye and then passes it to Brent & Caite.  Jordan reminds Caite she only gets two sprays.  After she’s done he gives one spray for the common area between them.  Dan laughs as he knows when his girlfriend sees this she won’t believe it.

Brent & Caite Spell It Out:  Brent explains that they are keeping to their word as Carol & Brandy never cared to get to know them, so this is what happens.  Caite admits that they are nice women outside of the race, but when it comes to it here, they’re very intelligent.  Brent reasons they had to make a choice on who to use it on and all the other teams, besides Carol & Brandy, were nice to them.  So, you pick your poison.  Caite understands that the cops and the cowboys are bigger threats but she is okay losing to them rather than to Carol & Brandy.  Concerning the cowboys, Brent recognizes that Jet & Cord have been very lucky and are prone to making mistakes.  Yet Carol & Brandy have been pretty consistent in their racing so that combined with their intelligence makes them a threat.  CBS certainly didn’t show this as part of their regular broadcast, as it makes a huge difference as opposed to it only being about who was nice to them.

Is There a Re-U-Turn?  Louie & Michael are on the bus to Kuala Lampur and apparently are driving over the fourth-largest bridge in the world.  They’re with Dan & Jordan and Brent & Caite as well, but they figure everyone’s going to end up on the same train to Singapore anyway.  Michael states that the plan is to U-Turn Carol & Brandy.  Louie & Michael give each other a satisfied nod while chowing down on some bus food.  Then Michael thinks maybe they could U-Turn Joe & Heidi again.  Ha!  Michael turns around to get Brent & Caite’s thoughts on this new plan.  Dan promises that if they’re the last team to the U-Turn and it’s still available for use, he’s going to dig up Joe & Heidi’s picture and U-Turn them again.  I really hope Joe isn’t watching this video somewhere as his ego just went nuts yet again.  Everyone jokes that if there isn’t a picture of Joe & Heidi to use, just write it in.

Difference of Opinion:  Michael is sprawled out on his sleeper bunk in the train and can’t imagine anything better especially when compared to how cramped up he usually is on planes.  Pan up to Louie who isn’t in agreement.  Louie is sure that Michael must be delirious, who helps confirm his theory when Michael starts clamoring for Louie’s pillow.  Louie admits he’d rather be sitting up in a seat, shoulder-to-shoulder, than laying down.  He’s taking the opportunity to take his shoes off and relax his ankles and feet.  Michael hopes that smell rises as he has been smelling Louie’s feet the entire race.  They’ve adopted prison rules which state that the strongest guy determines who gets what bunk, and Michael won.  So now Louie is his girl and has to wash his socks while Michael’s sleeping.  Louie doesn’t recall this decisive fight and wants a rematch.

Louie & Michael’s Misdirection:  Michael is proud that their strategy is working in that they made everybody think Carol & Brandy were a bigger threat than them.  Everybody plans on U-Turning Carol & Brandy and he’s glad it’s not going to be him & Louie, as he doesn’t want the other teams to remember they’ve won three legs of the race.  Michael admits they’d be devastated as they can’t drum at all and it would probably take them as long as Joe & Heidi did with Morse Code.  He recalls that Carol & Brandy were thinking about U-Turning the cowboys but Michael doesn’t fear the cowboys.  Even though they’re athletic, he enjoys having them as competitors.  Louie & Michael would like a final three with the cowboys and Brent & Caite.  Michael admits he’d just be ecstatic to be in the final three regardless of who else is there.  They can bring back Joe & Heidi if they want!  Louie realizes that Brent & Caite’s U-Turn may have saved them this leg after their stumbles throughout this leg.

Jet & Cord Talk U-Turn:  Jet realizes their chances of making it through this leg are pretty decent now that he has seen that Carol & Brandy were U-Turned.  After a half hour of drumming, he was thinking things weren’t going to be so good.  Cord recognizes that the U-Turn may have saved them on this leg.  Jet thinks the Detours have gotten progressively more difficult and it’s almost getting out of hand.  Jet understands that the drumming has nothing to do with how in shape you are, it’s more about how you feel.  Neither he nor Cord have any musical ability, and Cord humorously remarks he would take a whipping than have to learn drums.  Both would rather dangerously ride bulls than have to deal with the frustration of learning to drum.  Cord doesn’t even think he’d buy his kids drums for Christmas as the memory of a 10-year-old Singapore boy shaking his head no will constantly haunt him.

Brandy Vents… Again:  Brandy mumbles they’ve been done in by that blonde and her boyfriend.  Carol laughs and recalls her comment at the WWII challenge when she said that smart people do Morse Code, stupid people do the crawl.  Brandy comes to the conclusion that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to win the race.  Brandy has respect for all the remaining teams, except of course Brent & Caite, who she feels always try to take the easy route and jump over key obstacles and slink into the Pit Stop.  This is in reference to in Champagne when Brent & Caite followed Carol & Brandy in to the Pit Stop but hadn’t actually found the clue yet directing them there.  So both have little respect for Brent & Caite’s game as there isn’t any game to speak of.

Jordan Takes a Moment:  Jordan just completed his Fast Forward climb on the observation wheel and isn’t ready to talk about it just yet as he needs to calm down.  He finally says that experience was probably the most absurd thing he’s ever done or going to do in his life.  He knows he wasn’t speedy about it but had to keep reminding himself why he was there.  He tried not to look down and that was key.  Jordan only looked down while in the first capsule.  The operator mentioned he could either walk across (uh, that sounds horrible) or crawl.  Jordan admits he didn’t have the balance to walk across so that’s why he crawled.  I can’t even imagine just walking that though.

If doing this didn’t put them in first place, Jordan will just surrender.  He just crossed over at 541 feet up in the air on the biggest ferris wheel in the world.  This had better give them first place!  Jordan’s been waiting to be in first place and has been wanting to hear those words from Phil the entire team.  Then all of this freaking out will have been worth it.

After the Race

Detectives’ Double Standard:   Michael can’t believe that the cowboys win three legs and everyone considers them the top threat, but when Louie & Michael do the same thing, everyone is just happy for them.  He’s sure that it’s due to how they’ve been racing, as they’ll share info if it doesn’t hurt them, they’ll get to know people, and everyone likes them.  Louie knows that it’s how they present themselves, as while they’re close with the cowboys, Jet & Cord don’t really talk to anyone else.  That rubs people the wrong way.  So everyone loves Louie & Michael and it looks like it will be a fair, fun final four.

Dan & Jordan’s Language Lesson:  Jordan reveals to us that he & Dan have their own language.  It can’t be explained to anyone else, but basically they each know each other better than anyone else.  Out of that grew words in their own language.  Their childhood was extremely happy and they grew up in a very fortunate, happy family.  All that happiness and creativity led to joking around and gibberish that makes total sense to them.  They continue to ramble on about being weird in normal ways, etc.  Are we going to hear any of these words?  They continue on about how much they are entertaining to the other teams as even Brent & Caite have told them they can’t wait to see them on TV.  Jordan continues he & Dan balance each other out and that it’s not just about one being straight and one being gay.  They may fight but that’s what brothers do.

Never Letting Go:  In an IQ test, Carol is positive that Brent & Caite’s scores added together and multiplied by 10 still wouldn’t equal one of their scores.  Brandy interjects “such as, for our children.”  Carol continues that Brent & Caite got lucky by getting to the U-Turn first but used it very stupidly in terms of the race.  But as Brandy points out, Caite used it perfectly to continue her fame on the Internet.  Such as.  Brandy continues that the move was stupid but nothing Caite has done has been built on intelligence.  Even in the race Brent & Caite were leapfrogging tasks they were supposed to be doing and strolling into the Pit Stop before they were supposed to.  Caite’s built a career off an infamously stupid answer that made it on YouTube.  She can’t put a sentence together nor does she know geography and all she & Brent want is fame.

Brandy believes that Brent & Caite’s U-Turning cheapens the race as they didn’t play a clean race at that point.  Carol notes that all Caite wants is to be the last girl on the race.  Brandy impersonates Caite some more and it all just gets a little uncomfortable.  It’s time to move on, ladies.  Carol will be surprised if Caite ever discusses Einstein’s Theory of Relativity on the mat, although if ANY of the teams past or present could discuss that accurately.  Brandy hopes that stupid doesn’t win the race and is certain they can’t go the distance as Brent & Caite can’t read the clues and figure things out on their own.  These clips are definitely not Carol & Brandy’s finest hour…

A Happy Experience:  Brandy is very proud of what they brought to the race as a team.  She is proud of Carol’s efforts throughout the race as she was really the team’s morale.  When Brandy would be disappointed in their leg placement, Carol would constantly keep Brandy motivated and try to turn things around.  Even though they did bicker, that was mostly during the down times as when it was time to do tasks, they’d get their heads into it and work.  Brandy can’t imagine having run this race with anyone else though.  She feels bad for Carol as she was the one getting beat up on the most, including getting kicked by the cow.

Carol also had a bad knee like Joe, which they would commiserate about, but her bad knee never stopped her from trying her best. Brandy also had back spasms so they’re both walking wounded.  Carol is sure that after some time and once they’re in clean clothes, they can forget about Brent & Caite and reflect on the experience itself.  Carol laughs as on the train last night, it wasn’t the train car that smelled, it was Carol’s feet and shoes.  Brandy is proud of Carol as she is truly Miss Four Seasons and she endured a lot.  Carol will be happy to reflect later and past the stupidity of the day and remember the experience itself.  She’ll try to translate that into first-grader for Brent & Caite.

All About Attitude:  Jet thinks it’s not about being physically tough but more about being content.  He & Cord have slept in some of the worst and best hotels you can imagine, but when you’re asleep it doesn’t really matter.  Whether you’re riding a bus or in a hotel, as long as you get the sleep that is what matters.  They’ve noticed other teams complaining about the lodging and the food and that attitude drags them down.  They just want to be here and race and get first place.  Cord has really enjoyed everything and especially seeing all these things they’ve never seen before in their lifetime.  It’s been an amazing experience.

The Case Against Carol & Brandy:  Caite explains that Carol & Brandy made a comment about Brent when they were on their bus from Germany to France.  The bus had stopped at a restaurant and while Brent was in the bathroom and cleaning up his trash, Carol, who was sitting next to Caite, mocked Brent by saying that they were all right there, how can you be so stupid?  I’m not really sure I understand the story, but apparently Brent was just trying to be green and clean up trash.  Regardless, Brent really doesn’t care about that as it’s just more about Carol & Brandy’s overall negativity and superiority.  Maybe it’s now just that they got their butts kicked and they thought they knew everything.

Elimination Station

Nighttime yet again at Elimination Station as they await the phone call from the next eliminated team.  This time they don’t seem as tired as they were last week.  Joe speculates/hopes that it’s Louie & Michael which makes Heidi laugh.  Some speculate the cowboys may have run out of steam while others bet it’s Brent & Caite.  The phone rings and Brandy’s unhappy tone answers Monique’s hello as she tells them who it is.  Shannon admits she was disappointed to hear it was Carol & Brandy as she wanted an all-girl team to win.  Brandy goes on to explain what happened, and I think we all know this story only too well by now.  Everyone occasionally gasps as Brandy goes on, but it’s not clear if it’s because they can’t believe they were U-Turned or because Brandy sounds so upset.

Jordan thinks Carol was out of line (although only Brandy has been talking, so I figure Jordan got the names mixed up) and was possibly jealous of Caite.  Brandy & Carol say their goodbyes and everyone can tell that they weren’t too happy.  Jeff wisely notes that the U-Turns this season all were very personal.  Adrian agrees with that assessment as he can’t see how it made sense strategically.  Shannon recognizes that there is lots of drama on the race and bets that the Finish Line will be exciting.

That night, the group heads out to catch a Mexican Wrestling show.  It’s the style of wrestling where everyone is dressed in fantastic masks and costumes, much like the silly Nacho Libre.  At the gift shops before the matches, everyone jokes about getting some masks as it can spice up the bedroom.  The group enters the arena and it’s an open-air forum with the ring in the center.  Surprisingly, as the first wrestler comes out, he is accompanied by Jordan.  She becomes his ring girl as he lifts her into the ring and she stands up there.  Shannon is immediately jealous that Jordan gets to do this and have the spotlight.  The entertaining acrobatics during the match really don’t help in figuring out who’s winning, but even though our gang is a little confused, everyone still has a blast.  Adrian is rooting for the shortest wrestler out there named Fuego, but he seems to be the only one as Dana doesn’t understand why he’s rooting for him.  Still, Adrian’s enthusiasm helps everyone enjoy the match that much more.

With that, another episode of Elimination Station is over, and barely any mention at all of Joe’s anger at Louie & Michael.  I sense progress!!!!!

Hobie Barnes works in NYC at 30 Rock (the building, not the show). While not conquering Midtown, he might be found watching DVR’d reality TV, learning the guitar (I’m not afraid of you anymore, C chord!), or getting lost on the subway. He can be reached at hobiewan76@gmail.com.