Big Brother 14 – Ep 10

Le Sigh.  All that work spent on an HTML table that has cells that span rows (!) for NOTHING.  Look at what Amurricka up and done – they voted YES to allow the coaches into the game.  UGH.  Here is one time I am with what I presume is Boogie‘s attitude – eff that noise.  They’ve had a month of immunity and now they can just waltz into the game.  Sure, it won’t be easy and more than likely there will be some serious divides against them, but let’s ask Jodi, Kara, Willie (nah, fuck him) and JoJo if they think this is fair.  And the fact that only ONE coach had to say yes ensured the inevitable.  I of course am jumping ahead of myself, aren’t I?

Outgoing Head of Household: Shane
Nominated for Eviction (as if this week even mattered):  Frank and Joe
Did America Idiotically Vote to Allow the Coaches Back into the Game?  YES, OF COURSE.
Which Coaches Said Yes?  Britney, Dan, and Janelle
New Head of Household:  Remains to be seen

Episode 10 – August 3, 2012

America’s Vote wasn’t a feverish nightmare because once the show starts, Julie Chen dramatically warns us that the result of America’s Vote on whether to let the coaches in will be revealed tonight.  But first!  UGH.

You know, I have started taking notes during the shows so I can remember impressions and events that more than likely I’d forget after a nice sleepfest….but with the case of what ended up happening, NONE OF IT WAS RELEVANT.  I’m Joe now, thanks America.  There was the whole Boogie getting mad thing, Frank being Shane and Britney’s true target even though they assured him he wasn’t, the whole Wil-is-pissed-at-Janelle-because-she-basically-told-him-the-truth-in-that-she-saved-his-game-life thing, Boogie chastising Ian and telling him it’s okay to “bounce a check” in the Big Brother House (I liked that one, too), Janelle being an emotionless robot (relative of Mitt Romney?), Dan using Danielle as a poker chip….all of it…completely worthless in terms of discussing.  As Julie Chen repeated mercilessly last night – “This reboots everything”.  Yeah, great.

I read a tweet from Rob Cesternino of Survivor fame that I think aptly captures my feelings:  Shane just got “Coup-de-Jeff’d.”  For those that remember Jeff’s first season, Jeff was about to get voted out but again, there was an America’s Vote that awarded a player the Coup d’Etat power allowing them to change the nominations however they wanted to.  Of course, Jeff received the prize, took himself off the block, and basically was able to get a Deus Ex Machina to save him.  Of course this didn’t go well with the player, Chima, who was set to get rid of him.  She ended up getting kicked out as bitch was pissed.  PISSED.  At the time, pretty much the audience hated Chima anyway and Jeff was the favorite, so it was satisfying.  Yet upon reflection, it was a pretty fucked-up game element.  “Expect the Unexpected” and all that, yeah, but this was basically the Executive Producers saying, wait up, the hot guy that America loves is about to go home.  And we totally want him and Jordan to be America’s Couple.

So now Shane had pretty much ensured Frank was going home and here’s this vote that not only brings the coaches back in, THE EVICTION WAS ALSO STOPPED.  W T FUCK?  Britney got screwed last week as the vote kept going even when Willie was kicked out.  Now we stop the eviction because a crowd favorite (Frank) is on his way out.  I could whine about overwhelming producer manipulation, but that’s basically exactly how this game has always been.  So I just need to stop….take a swig of Diet Coke….and enjoy the ride.  It’s a brand new show now.  Julie Chen was not wrong.  At least Shane still keeps wandering around the house without a shirt.  The official CBS site hasn’t put up their official pics of the episode yet, but there’s really no need in my mind.  I’m sure Sunday’s episode will have much more about the HoH comp as that was truly a marvel of engineering to behold.  It never ceases to amaze me what the challenge crews end up building.  Not only are the games fairly challenging (most of the time), but the theming rivals what you’d see at Disneyland.  It’s awesome.

Alright, not much else to say at this point about this episode, but there’s plenty to speculate about.  Regarding our first endurance HoH competition, women typically have an advantage as they typically can endure more pain than guys and the less intense muscle tone helps reduce the pain in these stand-still-yet-hold-on comps.  My hope is that Shane can win, yet honestly, since all existing alliances are gone, my only reason for that is he’s smokin’ hot.  At this point, I’m not sure who will team up with who.  I don’t know if the coaches will team up but my gut tells me that just won’t happen.  I bet Britney will try to align with Shane still, along with Danielle and possibly Dan.  Hell, speculating about any of this really is random ass-pulling.  Who the hell knows what will happen?  Guess we’ll find out Sunday!

HG	Comments
	Ashley – If it’s open season now, I think Ashley can successfully continue to fly under the radar for a lot longer as everyone presumably guns for the former Coaches.
	Britney – Britney, you have a chance to redeem yourself.  Yet I don’t know who your true allies are, and I don’t think you do either.  Shane is a good bet, but he was already not telling you everything.  Janelle is a possibility too, but she’ll cut you loose before you ever expect it.  Hang in there, girl!
	Dan – I don’t see you sticking with Danielle.  I also think you’re a huge first target, because you’re a former winner.  You and Boogie both need to be worried, and it would make sense for you two to ally.
	Danielle – With everything reset, I think you’ll jump to Shane first.  But I think your true best bet would be if a girls alliance forms.
	Frank – Talk about the LUCKIEST sumbitch this game has seen in a long time.  Your goose was cooked, Hairball.  I expect he’ll be a huge target once the initial scramble stops.  I imagine Boogie will want to ally with you, but as you’ve made clear, you don’t trust him any more than everybody else.
	Ian – Alright, Mr. BB Fan, the game is officially OFFICIALLY on.  I think you can fly under the radar here as you are not a physical threat but if others were paying attention, you can certainly be an intellectual one, not to mention a possible liability since you suck at lying.  “Bounce the Check!”
	Janelle – If you can somehow get Boogie out of this game, this season is yours to lose.  Janelle is a fierce competitor, a shrewd manipulator, and as Britney noted, your emotionless approach serves you well in this game.  I eagerly await to see what you end up doing and who you ally with.
	Jenn – I don’t even think Jenn was in this episode.
	Joe – You should thank your lucky stars too.  There are suddenly WAY bigger targets than you around, what with all the coaches back in.
	Mike Boogie – Decidedly unhappy with what just happened, I’m not sure if you’re going to put on your game face or basically ask to get voted out.  I’d be shocked if you did the latter, but it’s time to play and I wager you’ll quickly get into that mindset.  I’m curious as to who your first target will be….I would be shocked if you ally with Janelle.
	Shane – His Mega Hotness had a safe powerful week but it was basically all for nothing.   You are such a huge target at this point that you Have to win HoH.  If you don’t, expect to find yourself definitely nominated or at the very least, prepare to be backdoor’d.  Heh.
	Wil – What was up with the drama this episode?  It IS clear that Janelle’s actions helped you.  YOU HAD IMMUNITY BECAUSE OF HER.  If you hadn’t, you were the target.  Janelle DID ensure your safety.  Stop being a bitch.
	JoJo – Evicted 2nd, 4th out of the House.
	Willie – Eliminated. Effectively 3rd out of the House.
	Kara – 1st Houseguest Evicted, 2nd out of the House
	Jodi – Not really Evicted – but 1st out of the House