Don’t Leave Me This Way, Degree Clinical Strength!

For years, I’ve had what you would call a problem with sweat.  As in, I can be quite the sweaty beast.  I’ve got the greasy face for all to see and when I exercise, I’m the guy whose shirt gets pretty damn wet.  (That could be hot if I had a ridiculously built body….I’m working to that point).   I unfortunately also am one of those who can get armpit sweaty in minutes after putting on a shirt.  I know that stress is a definite factor in my struggles, but even when I wasn’t stressed, there I was, Soaky McGee and the Totally Bummer Summer.

I think it was in college when I found my original savior, the deodorant called Degree.  I tend to favor the soft solid deodorants over aerosols or the roll-ons or the nasty hard sticks, and Degree’s soft solid WORKED.  Then one day I’m at the store and I can’t find the damn Degree.  I see women’s Degree and I see some of the hard stick Degree, but not my precious pressshhhhuussssss soft solid.  Went to Target, the pharmacies, everywhere….that Degree ship had sailed.  I was devastated.  And so began the next decade (give or take a year or so) of me making do.  Luckily with the BDU uniform, I could count on the black undershirt to take on my aggressive armpits and the weird patterns of the BDU overshirt to camouflage (it DID have a purpose!) my sweat.  Blues were a different story, and I think I just managed to ignore it for the most part.  But once I joined the civilian world, or should I say the stressful civilian world, Armpit Jones and the Temple of Skanky Sweat returned.  It was awful.  I tried every clinical strength out there, and sometimes it seemed to work only to not work just a few days later.  Alas, I persevered – at least I didn’t stink up the joint.  One somber 2011 day I was in the CVS and my eye happened upon the magical logo you see above…a clinical strength soft solid Degree!!!????  I eagerly added it to my basket and put my hopes on the next day being a dry one.  Well, the next day was dryer than the one before but it wasn’t a miracle salve.  The following day though?  That was the money.  I was dry!

All the agony and the self-fulfilling stresses were cast aside!  I even felt my bald spot getting less bald with all the stress I took out of my life just by not feeling self-conscious.  So flash forward to last month at CVS – I can’t find the fucking deodorant anymore.  There’s an empty slot where my Degree would normally be.  Fortunately I had seen some at Albertson’s before and bought it there.  Yet my doubts had been awoken.  Tonight I went grocery shopping and thought, “hey, I should pick up some in case CVS is out again.”  I’ve told Larry that I will stock up on the stuff if I ever think it’s going to stop being made.   When I saw that it was only $4 at Albertson’s, I immediately rejoiced.  Then I read the label – CLEARANCE.  Oh dear.  I swept in 6 boxes of the deodorant and tried to keep cool (LOL).  I still don’t know if P&G or Unilever is going to stop making this, and I kind of don’t want to know.  I see on Amazon that you can put in a subscription to have it delivered on a regular basis which I think I may do….so I’m hopeful it’s just these local retailers and not a sign of things to come.  People, I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to suffer again without Degree.  Nothing else works for me!!!!!  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!