My dear friend VerNonica Dorothy Penny Andersen would instantly know what I’m talking about. But having seen the name I just typed for her, she would also instantly dropkick me to the ground too.
So yes, the “I’m Searching for a River” story. It’s an oldie from my high school days. Back in those golden days of yore, Roni and I would hang out quite a bit, especially with her family, who were just very cool people that exposed me to a lot of interesting Southern California stuff, mainly the awesomeness of the Sunset Strip, Hollywood, UCLA (I can’t deny that Roni’s mom’s absolute love of UCLA was a huge factor in my desire to go there), Malibu, Palm Springs, Tower Records, seeing movies properly, LaserDiscs (and ultimately to DVD)… it was a great time to be alive. That sounds silly, I know, but my last two years of high school were a LOT of fun. Anyways, that was just setup to this story – one day we were driving around when this groovy song came on over the radio, with a really nice beat and this great female voice singing about true love, and she kept singing that “Rivvveehhhh, I’m searchin’ for a Rivvvvehhhh, someone to set my heart free…..Riveh! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII am searchin’ for a Rivvehhhhhh…..” Yes, I was totally in tune with this great R&B-flavored song and totally understood the metaphor of looking for a river and how that could be interpreted as love….. and Yes, I was a total retard who apparently needed to get his hearing checked! Because of course I’m referring to the song called “Real Love” by Mary J. Blige. And the song suddenly made so much more sense when Roni explained what the actual lyrics were…of course after she finally stopped laughing at me.
Why am I telling you this? Because the last few weeks have made me realize that I am certainly looking for more than just flings and such. If you can’t deal with these things, then feel free to go to the next paragraph. I’m obviously not going to get into graphic detail here, but I’ve just realized that I really do want to be in a relationship. Dating gets old and I really don’t think I have the patience to keep going on first dates. There have been a few things that have happened in the past month that have made me really think about who I am and what I am looking for and what I am expecting from others. There’s one guy who doesn’t have the time of day for me and is pretty much way more horrible than I am at communicating yet for some stupid reason I can’t get over him. Then there’s another who is just a great guy but I really just want to have him as a good friend as I really need those as well as a relationship, and frankly, having good friends is almost more important to me than the other stuff. I don’t know, just writing this still makes me realize how confused in the head I am about things. I’m worse than a girl I think. I think I know what I want but let’s be honest, I think I’m also quite clueless still when it comes to this stuff. I’ve obviously omitted a lot of the details here, especially with regards to the guy who is worse at communicating than I am. That whole experience has left me seriously messed in the head as I have no idea what is going on with him. Okay, I’m rambling. But this has been some of the stuff that has taken up quite a bit of my free time (the little I have) and has left me feeling kinda apathetic about the whole dating thing.
As promised, no more talk about my personal life. How about some pictures from my iPhone?
Jan 08 / Dec 07 – Random pics from my iPhone
Random thoughts on other things that have been going on in the past two weeks:
- I saw Cloverfield this past weekend with Greg. AWESOME. I definitely enjoyed it more knowing where all that stuff actually was and having been to most of those places myself. Great disaster/monster movie that ended just as it should have. Lily Lives!
- I also got drunk this past weekend after Cloverfield and after getting home. Ugh. Not a good idea to start with Beer and completely ignore the sage advice: “Liquor before Beer never Fear; Beer Before Liquor Never Sicker” I tend to get goofy, horny, and stupid all rolled up in one obnoxious package and I say and do things I really have no business doing. It’s certainly fun to be drunk but not fun to pay the price the next morning. Luckily no puking, just discomfort and realization.
- Watched the movie ‘Once’ on DVD. Great boy-meets-girl-he-can’t-have-but-they-have-an-incredible-connection movie with amazing songs sung by the two main characters. It’s termed a musical but it’s definitely a different take on a musical. The songs (not ‘musical’-y, very much a folk/rock feel to them) are so beautiful and the final scene of the movie brings tears to your eyes due to a combination of the song that is playing (Falling Slowly, a genius song I must say) and the last lingering gaze we have of one of the stars. Go rent it.
- Also saw ‘Million Dollar Baby’ a few weeks back and man that was depressing.
- Work has been cool. I’m definitely doing pretty well there and am known as the King of Reports. Well, maybe not, but that’s the title I’ve given myself so I’m cool with it.
- Shelly has returned and it’s so nice to have her back. Just having someone to talk to at the end of the day is such a nice thing. Especially after the month before with having no one to talk to!
- I went to Mohegan Sun this past weekend because I could no longer keep away from the tables. It’s an amazingly huge casino and while I of course didn’t win money at craps, I was glad to have at least gotten to play. Next time though I need to spend the night as going up and back in the same day is 5 hours of driving and I was frickin’ exhausted by the time I got back.
Other than that, just a lot of me me me in terms of what’s been occupying my time. Hope you’re all doing well and I will probably not be updating till I get back from COLORADO!!!!!! Yay – I’m going back to go to SnoFest and to see all my wonderful friends!!!! I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!