(No more countdown…weird)
So I woke up this morning completely stressed about all the stuff I have to do in the next 3 weeks. COMPLETELY stressed.
It’s kind of hard to go back to sleep once you realize you’ve committed yourself (I guess I could end the sentence there…but I won’t) to upheaving your life for something cool and crazy. And that realization slapped me in the face like someone I just called a whore. (by the way, WHORE is a fun word to say – you can say it with such different inflections – fun for all ages!) I began to list all the things I still have to do in the next three weeks, and I’m going to clue you into my mental processes and then you will be a full-fledged member of the Hobie-Neurotic Club:
- Have to do shittons of laundry (yes, I know, everyone has to do this, but I HATE laundry… at least I don’t have to go down to a river and beat my clothes against rocks… so I’ll quit my whining)
- Mow the damn grass (I also have to sharpen the blades of the mower since I haven’t ever and I have no idea how to do it or with what…. yes, I actually dwelled on this this morning)
- Get a key made for my property manager (which led me into my whole panicky spiral of doom because I am still kinda scared about this damn house and wishing it would sell but it’s not so now I have to rent it and I don’t want a psycho renting it and destroying it and hoping that the property manager is good and knowing that she is but still hoping that I’m not being too optimistic and not even knowing where the hell you go to get a key made – yes, I’m insane)
- Thinking about my upcoming househunting trip to New Jersey (and hoping that all the rooms I’m interested in don’t get rented while I’m flying out there and wondering what the hell would I do if that IS the case because then I’d have to like knock on doors and windows and figure out the next step in getting a place to live and what if I end up in the streets with a laptop and a Nintendo DS and that’s it? – again, this spiral of doom thingy knows no bounds and makes everything a great rosey shade of INSANE)
- Hoping I can sell most if not all the items I want to sell (but what if they don’t sell and nobody wants these things and I have to ship them out to New Jersey and then I have to pay for storage after a month and what if costs like $500/month I can’t afford that!)
- My Dad and Pat are leaving Colorado Springs on Tuesday morning (when am I going to see them again? When am I going to see my Mom and Harv again? I don’t think I even can begin to plan a trip right now during these next 3 weeks as there’s just NO TIME (as Jack Bauer of 24 would say) and who knows what the holidays are going to be like and once again my folks are going to be disappointed/mad….)
- What if I can’t do the job at NBC? (and I find out I’m retarded and can’t spell or go to the bathroom or don’t know how to dress anymore and mix patterns and colors and belts and shoes and get lost on the subway and end up in Maine and have no clue how to get back to my apartment because I don’t even know the address yet….)
- Wondering if anyone cares about what I wrote last week or at all ever or if they think I’m foolish for just up and leaving Colorado Springs (why ruin a good thing? I’ve got a great house and a great circle of friends…. but at this point in my life (and also during the panic attack) I realized that I HAVE to do this all because it’s such an amazing opportunity and really, it’s been a goal of mine to come to New York City)
….. so basically I let the spiral of doom take me down its path and once I got to the end of it, I realized that none of these things are insurmountable. Sure, they’re scary, and maybe expensive, but I’ve got the AF VSP money and if that gets burned up in the process of me following my dreams, well, so be it. I’ll have a great job that will allow me to probably avoid actually burning my VSP money so honestly, everything will get resolved. Each of these situations has a clear set of steps I need to take and I’ll take them.
So I got out of bed, took a shower, and began my day knocking off little steps of each task as I could do it. And I think by the time I end up in my car ready to drive out of Colorado Springs for good towards New York, I’ll be ready.
Anyways, here’s a pic of me and Dad and Pat from a few days back when we were at Joe’s Crab Shack. They’re leaving shortly for Albuquerque and eventually California. Happy Trails and Safe Driving, guys!
And in other news, I went with KD to see the movie Stardust last night. Fantastic! A great fairy tale type movie and it was very much like the Princess Bride, although not quite as fanciful as that one. But highly entertaining and lots of great actors, especially Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro, Claire Danes and Charlie Cox. All very charismatic in their roles and the story was always gripping. Good times.
Oh yeah, I’m a CIVILIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…and unemployed. For 3 weeks or so, at least. It’s a weird feeling – I have pretty much had a job nonstop since around Thanksgiving of my Junior year in High School, which was in 1992. Yowza.
Peace out, bitches.